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B Movies, Cult Movies and Movies That You Might Not Have Heard Of!!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Classically Bad: The Thing With Two Heads

Not sure why, but 70's schmaltz is so much better than schmaltz from today.  I guess it's because of the earnestness of the acting, or maybe it's seeing classically trained actors doing such obvious junk.  In any case, it's just fun to see these movies today, and think about the 'good old days' when you could head to the drive in (or your local grindhouse) and see these movies on a big screen!  Well, I'll stop waxing nostalgic now and tell you what put me in this mood.  It's the "excellent" movie, The Thing With Two Heads!




  Ray Milland plays an accomplished transplant surgeon with a little problem, he's a huge racist, or, in 70s lingo, biggot.  He's working on a process that will allow him to transplant his head onto another body to keep himself alive longer.  I guess because biggotry needed to be moved forward or something.  Well, when his head winds up on Rosie Greer's body things couldn't go worse...or more hysterically funny!   Rosie plays a death row inmate who's innocent and determined to stay alive long enough to prove it, and volunteering for scientific experiments will keep him alive...although with an old, angry, biggoted head on his shoulders!   This movie begins as a straight-ahead, sci-fi movie, with a two headed gorilla and a lot of scenes in the operating room.  But, once the head is transplanted, it turns into a combination monster movie and Smokey and the Bandit!  Yes, the two headed monster steals a car and leads the police on a wild (and really long) car chase, crashing cars and lots of wild 70s music included.  Then, after leaving the car, are chased onto the track of a motocross race, where...you guessed it...the monster steals a motorcycle and the chase continues...and continues for a loooooooong time!  In the end, a surgeon removes the evil biggot from Rosie and the Rosie, his doctor and his girlfriend drive off into the sunset singing 'Oh Happy Day!'...that's right, after all the lessons that appear to be on the way about race relations, we end with three black people singing an old spiritual.  No word on Rosie's innocence and the biggot's head is left alive, so I didn't really feel like I learned anything about race relations...except that old white biggoted surgeons don't like young hip black surgeons....which I probably could have guessed if I'd given it much thought!   As a movie, I'd give The Thing With Two Heads 2 out of 4 cigars, but, if you're like me and just enjoy a bit of 70s goofiness, then it gets 4 out of 4, it's weird, it's fun and it's just odd enough to be something you can't take your eyes off of!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

The Baby (1973)

The 70s were a golden age for weird movies.  You had everything from low budget gore (Herschel Gordon Lewis) to honest to God porno (Deep Throat) hitting theaters around the country.  But, one of the strangest things I've seen from the 70s, has to be The Baby!



 
The Baby is the story of a young social worker who's been assigned to the case of a teen boy, who's kept in a giant crib & wears diapers.  No, he's not some weird fetishist, he's mentally a baby.  But our social worker heroine believes that her even stranger (if that's possible) family is keeping him that way because of mother's mindless hatred of men.  So, our hero initiates a plan to take the baby with her and try to make him grow up!

The Baby is, honestly, one of the strangest movies I've seen in years!  There's the uncomfortable vibe throughout the whole movie, then there's also this, even stranger, sexual vibe at the same time!  There's even an instance of one of the baby's big sisters disrobing and getting in the crib with him...awkward at best!

If you enjoy these strange pieces of cinematic history, then join me in catching this largely unseen gem!  You'll feel uncomfortable and a bit creepy, but stick with it, The Baby has an ending that will leave you gob-smacked!  Trust me, I've seen a lot of movies and I never saw this coming!

I'm giving The Baby 4 out of 4 cigars, it's something that you might want to stop watching around the middle, but hang in there, the payoff is totally worth the discomfort!