The Expendables 2
When the original The Expendables hit theatres, I have to admit to being nearly as excited as a teen aged girl at one of those N'Sync concerts. After all, Stallone, Arnold and Willis all on the same screen! Not to mention, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren....it just didn't get any better for a fan of 80s action...which I totally was. So, when The Expendables 2 hit, I was almost as excited, but decided to wait for DVD, not for any special reason, just not enough time to hit the theatre every weekend anymore. So, finally, I took the time to sit down and catch up with my old friends, and....I have to admit to being slightly disappointed.
If you saw the original The Expendables, then you know the road here. Group of semi-bikers/mercenaries take on a bad guy in a foreign land. The only difference here is that the bad guy is Jean-Claude Van Damme! And, as sad as this might seem, Van Damme is the best part of this movie, outshining everyone, include the 'Big 3' (Ah-nold, Stallone & Bruce). The charm of the original was getting all these cool action heroes together in one story, and mixing them with some current action stars to make an amazing action movie! Well, this time it seemed like everyone who was left out of the first movie, saw that it made money and called up Stallone to get in on the action...and it's not the cool movie action I'm talking about there! This time around, we're treated to what begins to feel like and endless stream of old catch-phrases and an interminable amount of winking at the camera. At one point, Chuck Norris shows up, alone, kills a bunch of bad guys and then manages to squeeze in a 'Chuck Norris Fact' before he wanders back off set...truly sad! If you ever had any love for the 80s action movie, then do yourself a favor and check out The Expendables, but, if you ever had ANY love for the 80s action movie stars, walk past The Expendables 2...it's the difference in seeing your grandfather as an older guy who can still kick some ass and seeing him telling the same old stories in his recliner!
I'm giving The Expendables 2, 2 out of 4 cigars, it took the original and blew it up in one of those amazing 80s action star explosions!!!