Human Centipede: First Sequence
When it comes to 'dare' movies, it seems that most of the good ones are all older, from the 80s or earlier. But, suddenly, onto my radar popped Human Centipede: First Sequence, and a brand new 'dare' movie it's in the DVD player!!!
Now, don't worry that anything I write will 'give away' anything...this is a movie that you can tell everyone about, but it has to be seen to be believed! So, here's the story: Two girls are travelling through Germany, when they have a flat tire. After wandering through the deserted wilderness for a while, they stumble upon a house and go to ask for help. They had no idea that the house is owned by, probably the creepiest guy in Germany since Hitler died! And, he's a surgeon! Now, we've already seen our demented surgeon capture a truck driver, so it's not a surprise that he's got plans for our two helpless girls. Soon, they find themselves drugged and tied down to hospital beds and our surgeon lays out his evil scheme!
It seems that he's obsessed with creating a Siamese twin, but with three people all joined at the digestive system. That's right, he's going to sew one person's mouth to the other's rectum...and, while that might seem gross and disgusting written down, wait until you see our demented doc lay out his plans....and then watch as he implements them!!! That's right, three people are all attached to each other to form one long digestive system...and, yes, it's one of the grossest things I've ever seen on film! And, let's just say that when the first person in the centipede line goes to the bathroom....it's gonna make you pause the film and choke back a bit of bile!
I'm giving Human Centipede: First Sequence 4 out of 4 cigars...if your stomach is strong and you can take a dare. If you're squeamish and faint of heart, just walk away from this one...but, if you can take it, you'll be able to brag to your friends that you sat through one of the sickest things ever filmed! And, if you check out the interview with the director, you'll learn that, not only is this sickening surgery medically accurate and possible, but he's planning a sequel that will attach 12 people in this gross chain! Human Centipede: First Sequence is probably one of the most gratuitous, pointless exercises in grotesqueness that I've ever witnessed...and I'm proud to say that I made it all the way through, so gird your loins, put away those snacks (you're not gonna need...or want...them) and get ready for a journey into weirdness!
And, that'll wrap up my month of Twisted Halloween Treats, so grab a handful of these DVDs, get comfy in your favorite chair and ignore the trick or treaters, who knows, the sick surgeon could be on the other side of that door!